NECESSARY SPINNING

Douglas Coupland's JPod "doesn't feel necessary in the way that Microserfs did"?

We're not buying it. We're certain JPod is every bit as necessary as Microserfs was. Shampoo Planet too.

AT LONG LAST...

We have the answer to the question, Who is Bill O'Reilly's favorite rapper?

Plus, let's be honest: France is a bit of a slut, n'est-ce pas?

NOTE TO NATIONAL REVIEW

Add "Fake Plastic Trees" to the list.

Anyways, in case the live-from-cell-phone post below was too obtuse (could there ever be such a thing here at WHAD?), I literally couldn't give away my extra Arctic Monkeys ticket here in PDX tonight (despite a sold-out show). But I'm happy to report that they are no less tight with Nick, even if he did a bit of looking at his hands. Which is not to say that Andy isn't missed -- he may play Guigsy's instrument, but persona-wise, he's Bonehead.

And go figure--just when I was about to make the "wonder what they'll open with?" joke to myself... "Riot Van!"

Overall, the night had a decided muso quality: "Cigarette Smoker Fiona" is somewhat metal live, a drum solo almost broke out heading into "Dancing Shoes" and the newly-recorded "Leave Before the Lights Come On" could be their best song yet (but which bassist did they cut it with?). It's both handclap-catchy and hard-rock weird.

Prediction: they'll pull off the second album, big-time. Even Michael Corcoran will love it.

WHO THE FUCK ARE...?

HERE, KITTY KITTY

Boycott, shmoycott -- we hear Hasbro put the kibosh on their Pussycat Dolls because the action figures were less plastic and more lifelike than the girls in the, um... is "band" the right word?


Anyways, they're no Tabitha.

WHAT, NO "BORN IN THE U.S.A"?

We're speechless.

WHAT A MENSCH

Unless, of course, there was a little quid pro quo for Kid Rock at the post-prom party.

And how do the Red Wings feel about this?

'CAUSE IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR A HOCKEY POST

Writing about playoff beards (subscription site) a few weeks back, Sports Illustrated's Steve Rushin didn't let the facts get in the way of his doggerel:

Is that Hurricanes captain Rod Brind'Amour -- or Hogwarts wizard Albus Dumbledore?

LESS IS MORE

149 minutes? You can read the book quicker than that!

FRANK AND NIGEL, LUCKY TO BE PICTURED

Gary too.

Above is one of Mekon Rico Bell's Rock'N'Roll Hall of Fame paintings, available from Yard Dog Folk Art. We say Herb and Jerry are a bargain!

MIA: "SHE TOOK OUR JOBS"

Yes, another great moment for the land of the free.

Maybe Timbaland can get one of those guest worker programs?

TO AT LEAST SEVEN PEOPLE IN IOWA CITY

Apparently Amy Hempel's The Collected Stories "is nothing less than the literary event of the year."

WHAT ARE THESE "SONGS" OF WHICH HE SPEAKS?

Our reaction to the big news from Thom Yorke.

1. You're a traitor and whatever splitting up blah blah blah.

2. Solo solo solo solo. Solo solo solo solo. Solo. Solo!

You know us -- we'd rather hear a record by The Other Four.

ALSO NOT FUNNY

Michael's SNL post reminded me -- and it's still worth saying 10 days later -- that "ManBearPig" might have been the worst South Park ever.

HASTA, AMY AND DAN

And here we thought John Oates, Corin Tucker and Devendra Banhart on Wonder Showzen was gonna be the week's best rock'n'roll cameo. Don't it seem like yesterday that Coco Gordon-Moore was just a tot? We are sooooooooooooooo old (though not as old as Dave "Gruber" Allen).

LEBLANC > SCHWIMMER

Has anybody else noticed that the Times theater critics have rediscovered bitchiness -- or, shall we say, "Frank Richiness" -- of late?

First there was Brantley on Ana Gasteyer ("a voice of a hundred trumpets").

And now, Charles Isherwood on The Caine Mutiny Court Martial:

All New Yorkers eager to experience the edge-of-your-seat suspense and gut-churning excitement commonly associated with two weeks of federal jury duty, please report to the Gerald Schoenfeld Theater...

That's right: it's no Joey.

THE DEVIL'S EYE

Well, it absolutely sucks that my first post is a So Long, Funnyman....Losing Grant McLennan of the Go-Betweens hits home at Well Hung Central a lot worse than your average cultish rock star death -- because of friends who knew him personally, because of songs like "Bachelor Kisses," "Bye-Bye Pride," and "Devil's Eye," and because it was so out-of-nowhere unexpected (unlike, say, hard-livin' Nikki Sudden, love him though we do, or, y'know, that cheerful guy from Portland).

Incidentally, that's the first obituary we've ever read by someone who once played on a Giant Sand record.

More from Can't Stop the Bleeding:

Though hardly a household name, I can't really sum up for you how pivotal a figure McLennan was other than saying if you had even a passing interest in smart, funny, heartfelt rock'n'roll over the past quarter century, Grant played a considerable role in shaping a more interesting creative environment. There's a large stack of records on the Rough Trade, Postcard, Merge and Matador labels that might've turned out differently or never seen the light of day had he and Forster not teamed up. He'll be missed. Like crazy.

Agreed on Spring Hill Fair.

Finally, props to XM's new wave nostalgia station for tossing in "Cattle and Cane" this afternoon. Just wish there was a complete stream of The "J-Files" right this minute.